


John the Baptist, Being Human, and the Dark Horse from New Hampshire

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Humor, Political Campaigns, Politics, Pre-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:06:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6891382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I am not here to be your girlfriend...I am not a groupie with the band."</p>
            </blockquote>





	John the Baptist, Being Human, and the Dark Horse from New Hampshire

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to The Introduction. You do not have to read the first to understand the second, but it really might be favorable.

Josh gave him an ultimatum, call her or I will. CJ had to be a part of this. Toby did it as an excuse to go to California and be close to her, even if it was for a few days.

***

"Who is he?" she asked.

She'd come out of her bedroom, walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She came out with a glass of wine. Toby could hardly hide his awe. Casually dressed in grubby shorts and a tank top, she was absolutely beautiful. Her wet hair, from the ill-timed dip in her pool, was in a ponytail. She wore glasses and her nipples stood at attention.

"Stop looking at me like that Tobus."

"Like what? How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"Dunno. I haven't talked to you in forever. Then you show up out of the blue, spouting off for me to give up everything, move across the country, and join some Presidential campaign for a guy I never heard of. John Hoynes has the Democratic nod sewn up…he has the White House sewn up."

"Americans are tired of being stuck in the middle of the road. My guy, he is the real thing. Would I have traveled 3000 miles if he wasn't?"

"I don't know. Nothing else has gotten you to contact me. It hurt like hell when you pushed me aside Toby."

He was quiet. She sat on the couch, sighed and sipped her wine. Then she lit a cigarette from the crumpled pack on the glass coffee table.

"Things got hectic…we knew it would happen eventually." He mumbled.

"Not to us Tobus, that is bullshit. How is Andi?"

"Fine." He answered too quickly.

"Who is this guy? You haven't even told me the name of the man who is going to change the course of history."

"New Hampshire Governor Josiah Bartlet, they call him Jed. He's…what's so funny?"

"Jed Bartlet, really?"

"I have been working there a while CJ. I think I know his name."

"At Oxford, there was a professor of Economics named Bartlet. Sam and Ed said he was the biggest windbag on the planet. I haven't heard that name in over a decade. Oxford, wow."

Toby cleared his throat.

"What if I told you that windbag is going to be the next President of the United States?"

"Please tell me you're joking." CJ replied.

"No." he shook her head. "He's nervous, sometimes his temper hangs on a thread, and he definitely needs polish, but he is the one CJ. He is truthful, intelligent, and I like him. We got Josh on board…he is a believer."

"What? Josh works for Hoynes. He was the architect for the whole platform. He is going to give up a guaranteed trip to the White House."

"How else can I convince you this guy is the real thing?" Toby asked.

"You and Josh are running this thing? With you two and your tempers, you must constantly butt heads. And if Bartlet is anything like that…"

"There is a mediator." Toby cut her off.

"Who, John the Baptist? This guy must have the patience of Job."

"It's Leo McGarry CJ."

She froze, her cigarette halfway to her mouth. Toby took it from her and put it out. She punched him, he recoiled, and she lit another.

"When were you going to tell me? When we touched down in Manchester Toby?"

"Does that mean you're coming? We seriously want you and need you."

"Toby!" CJ exclaimed.

"I don't know!" he shouted back. "Maybe I didn't want you making a decision based on an affair from another lifetime."

"It was not another lifetime. It was 12 years ago…you know what, whatever. Is he a good man Toby?"

"Yeah. Look, we all want you there to help. Leo was the one who asked me to come and get you. He knows all the hard work you did for NOW, Emily's List, and the League of Women Voters. He has always been impressed by you."

"You mean before I sold my soul?" CJ asked.

"Basically."

She got a rare full grin from Toby and that stopped her from hitting him.

"I am sure you can get a leave of absence from the lap of luxury." He said. "He'll probably lose and then we can go back to real life. Still, I think America needs to hear him."

"You think Josh can crawl back to Hoynes? We both know how he is."

"Josh is an insider; he will land on his feet. CJ, wait until you hear him speak."

She sighed.

"How long do I have to think about it?" she asked.

"36 hours. We, or I, have to get on a plane to Manchester late Thursday morning. Why were you fired?"

CJ smirked. She lit a third cigarette.

"Because I would not tow the bullshit line. Toby I made a lot of money but, wait…how much does this job pay?"

"How much were you making?"

"$550,000 a year."

"This pays $600 a week."

"Christ." She mumbled. "That is a bit less."

"If I know Tal Cregg's little girl, she's got a nest egg."

CJ did not say anything but she could be unemployed for over two years and not worry about money. And that was only the liquid money. Damn right Tal Cregg's only daughter could take care of herself. She looked at the man that no matter what would always be her best friend.

"I'm in…I miss politics." She said. "He does know that I have only worked stateside, right? He knows that I never worked a national campaign. I am not going in there and making an ass of myself."

"He knows. I think it is impossible for you to make an ass of yourself."

CJ laughed.

"You would be wrong. Wanna hit the town tonight Tobus?"

"No. I want to spend the night with you."

CJ did not have to ask him what he meant by that. She was so going to hell.

***

"Calamity Jane!"

Josh Lyman's voice boomed across the room as CJ walked into the headquarters of Bartlet for America. She ran to him, not caring about the bunch of interns who stared at the statuesque stranger. Josh lifted her off the ground and kissed her mouth.

"Damn woman, you look fantastic. You must be beating them off with a stick in LA."

"Something like that. I heard we are roomies."

"Kind of. The Governor housed us at a local motel that was very happy for the business and the check. God, you really are a sight. I know it has only been a year and a half but you are more beautiful than the last time."

"How can you not be beating them off with a stick with all that rhetoric. Where is Donna?"

"They went for lunch."

"Is she alright?" CJ asked.

"Now that she is away from Dr. Freeride, yes. Oh God…you know what, you have to talk to her."

"I will. We have been e-mailing but she would not give me specifics. She also failed to mention all of this. I thought…"

"CJ?"

CJ turned and smiled at Larry.

"Princeton. You're looking good."

She squeezed Josh's hand and then went to stand in front of Larry. It was strange; she felt all the oxygen leave the room. Larry caressed her cheek, sliding his fingers down to pinch her chin.

"Claudia Cregg, damn it has been too long."

She pulled him into a hug, kissing his neck.

"I recall someone promising to keep in touch." He said as she still held him.

"We did better than most. It has only been 712 days since we last talked."

"But hell, who's counting?" Larry asked when they separated.

"Exactly. Where is Edward?"

"Still working for Congressman Waxman of PA. He insists he will be here when we get the steam rolling."

"Nothing like jumping on the train after it leaves the station. You really look good Princeton."

"Believe me, so do you."

"CJ!"

She recognized the voice immediately. Donnatella Moss had not changed at all. She was still the sweet, smart girl from Wisconsin. Gone were the braces, the ponytails, and apparently her innocence. Her friends were going to bring her back though.

"Get over here sweetie." CJ said.

***

"What was that with you and Larry earlier?" Toby asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I am talking about."

"OK, when someone says 'what are you talking about', it is usually because they do not know what you are talking about."

"It was very Hamlet and Ophelia. Has it really been 712 days?"

They sat on lawn chairs outside of Toby's motel room. It was nearly 11 and her first day on the Bartlet for America campaign had been hectic. Still, she had yet to see the man himself, or Leo McGarry. Sam was MIA too; Josh said he had to go to New York to try to smooth over things with his fiancé. It was a pleasant mid-September night. Over a year until the general election. Now was the time, when the primaries started in January, most would know who they wanted to be their nominee. They were starting late…they had to kick it up three notches.

"It was good to see him, that's all. I am not going to explain myself to you. You should call Andi before the strategy session. When is the last time you two talked?"

"I talked to her from LA." Toby replied.

 _Well don't let what happened in LA confuse you_ , CJ thought to herself. _You are married and whatever happens there has to be some resolution between you and your wife…I cannot get in the middle of that ever again_.

"Am I still your soul mate?"

Toby felt weak for asking; it certainly was not in his nature. He felt this was his last chance for everything…he needed to know where he stood.

"Of course you are. Toby, I don't…never question my love for you. You are my best friend and I hurt when you hurt. Go, call Andi please."

"Yeah." Toby took his beer into his room.

CJ took a deep breath, threw her feet up on the railing and opened another beer. Suddenly she stopped. She smelled him; he could not possibly still wear that scent. CJ didn't even know what it was because she never asked.

"Still the longest legs I have ever seen. Hey Claudia Jean."

"Hi Leo."

He walked toward her, coming to lean on the railing. When he put his hand on her ankle, she tried to pretend she did not shudder.

"Tell me how you've been." He said.

"Not now."

"Why not? When?"

"It is a really long story and our heroine does not always come out on top. Insert lousy sex joke here."

Leo smiled. She never forgot his smile.

"Maybe later. You look wonderful."

"God, so do you. Jeez Leo, you better than you did twelve years ago."

"Sobriety can do that for you." He replied.

CJ gasped, putting her feet down and leaning forward in her chair.

"Really? That is fantastic. How long?"

"A bit over a year. I tried and fell so many times CJ. I was pretty bad when I finally went into detox. Wanna share the smokes?"

She held out a box of Marlboro Lights. As much as she willed it not to, an electrical current went through her when their hands touched. Leo lit it with the lighter she offered.

"Are you staying here?" she asked.

"No, I am at the farm house with the Governor and Abbey Bartlet. How did it feel to see the gang again?"

"Fantastic; nostalgic; even a bit weird. Sort of like a cheesy Lifetime reunion movie." She smiled. "This feels weirder though. Oh God, I didn't mean…"

"I know what you meant. CJ, it's me. You know you never have to trip over yourself with me. I understand."

He did…he always had. It was like being with Toby except different. CJ never felt as if Leo woke and slept on her word as she may have felt Toby did once. Leo didn't need her; he wanted her 12 years ago.

"I would love to spend some time with you." He said.

"Me too."

"Give me your cell phone."

She handed it to him. She watched as he pushed a few buttons and gave it back.

"Call me. OK?"

She smiled as Toby walked out of his room.

"Hi Leo."

"Hey Toby. I better go…goodnight CJ."

"Goodnight."

Leo walked away and Toby looked at her. Nothing had changed; he knew it. CJ checked out her cell phone. Above his phone number, it said 'Leo, anytime'. She couldn't help but smile.

"Did you get a phone call?" Toby asked.

"Huh? No. C'mon, let's get this powwow going."

***

Two weeks in Manchester and she ended up here. Dinner at a quaint little New Hampshire restaurant, three glasses of wine, a bit of heavy petting on the street. Kissing in her motel room and now this.

"Oh yeah, oh God!"

Larry threw her long leg over his shoulder and continued thrusting. CJ was surprisingly quiet, though she did moan. He caressed her face, producing a smile.

"Talk to me." He said.

CJ whimpered and Larry felt his confidence grow. It did feel good, it wasn't that at all, but Josh was next door. There was no way anyone wanted him to know what was happening over here. She clawed Larry's back as he pressed deeper into her. CJ couldn't believe her leg held up under the pressure, despite her acrobatic skills.

"Ohhh! Oh God, oh God!" she exclaimed when the feelings overwhelmed her.

Larry shouted out her name with his orgasm, collapsing against her. He went to roll over onto the bed but CJ held onto his hips.

"Don't move." She whispered.

He moved enough to lower her leg to a normal height. She would definitely need that to walk.

"What's on your mind?" Larry asked.

He sat up a bit, still inside her. He caressed her face again.

"The Brat Pack…you're definitely Andrew McCarthy." CJ replied, falling into laughter.

Larry laughed too. He dipped and kissed her. CJ allowed him to move; Larry breathed heavily.

"Fucking fantastic." He said. "Still as good as advertised."

She smiled, turning over and resting her body against his.

"You're not too bad yourself there buddy. Looks like you've had some lessons."

"Hey! It wasn't that bad before, was it? OK, OK, I was inexperienced. Damn, was it that bad?"

"No." she kissed his neck. "I just knew that you had not been with too many women."

"You were number three, so there."

CJ straddled him and they both laughed. She stroked his erection back to life.

"Mmm…"

"Tell me how I make you feel." She said.

"Do I really need to? I feel like the king of the universe."

Men are dreadfully easy, CJ thought as she went down on him. Larry cried out her name, and gripped the sheets as she took him over the edge.

"I can't move." He groaned.

"I did all the work this time." CJ said, wrapping her body around his.

"Am I staying or going?" Larry asked. He looked at his watch and it was quarter to two.

"Well, would you like to explain this to Josh tomorrow morning?" CJ asked.

He laughed, knowing that would not go well.

"Can I have a few minutes to recover?"

"Don't be silly, take as long as you need."

CJ turned his face to kiss his mouth. Then she left his arms and the bed altogether. Larry watched as she wrapped herself in a sheet, lit a cigarette and paced the room.

"Are you alright?" he asked, swinging his feet onto the floor.

CJ looked at him; he did take care of his body. She suddenly wondered what Leo looked like without clothing and she shook the thought from her head.

"Mmm hmm. This is what I do at night."

"You have always fascinated me."

He was sincere in his words and it made CJ feel butterflies in her stomach.

"Your boxers may be under the bed." She replied, finally settling into a chair across the room.

Larry nodded, reaching down and grabbing them. He took his time getting dressed, then checked the mirror to make sure he didn't look too disheveled. He came over to the chair and leaned close to CJ.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said.

"Goodnight." She kissed him softly.

Larry left and CJ took a deep breath. Oh God, as if she did not have enough on her plate. Let the games begin.

***

They drove back from Nashua and another successful town hall meeting. Next month Governor Bartlet would move down the coast. The Senior Staff, as they were now collectively known, drove back to their motel in a Yukon. Toby drove, and much to his dismay Josh jumped in the passenger seat. Sam and Donna sat in the next row, and CJ and Larry were in the back. CJ pretended to chat up reporters at the end of the night…she knew last one in the car had to sit in the back.

Right now, they were doing their best not to grope each other. CJ bit her lip so she wouldn't moan when she felt Larry's hand go up her skirt, past her thigh highs and stroke bare skin. Toby had the radio tuned to NPR and tried to avoid the conversation Josh started. Leave it to him to bring up campaign sex.

"Did you say campaign sex?" Sam asked.

"I did. It is notorious on Presidential campaigns." Josh replied. "How can it not be? The combination of hotel rooms, liquor and late nights. Let's add to that that New Hampshire is colder than Alaska in the winter. We have to keep warm somehow."

"Well, since I am not attracted to anyone in this car and we are all straight, I don't see it happening." Donna said.

"Hey CJ?" Sam asked. "What is your take on campaign sex?"

"Huh?"

"Campaign sex." Josh said louder.

"Yes please. I am going to fuck all of you before we get to Illinois."

"Who's first?" Toby asked.

"You of course Tobus."

They all laughed at his silly nickname.

"What about me?" Josh asked.

"Oh you too mi amour, and Sam. Hell, even Donna."

"Thanks CJ." She replied.

CJ giggled, slapping Larry's hand when it got too close. He smiled, taking her evil hand and putting it on his erection. She could not even whisper without alerting everyone so she slowly wrote the word impressive across his thigh with her finger. It made his erection even more so.

"How did the Governor do tonight?" Donna asked.

"Excellent." Sam replied.

"OK." Toby amended.

"It is time to hit the road; drum up more money and support." CJ said. "He has to get serious; show he is ready for the national stage."

"Yeah. We need to go down South." Donna said. "We have to beat Hoynes on his own turf."

"We're not taking Texas." Toby replied.

"We could." CJ said.

"No we couldn't." Larry said. "Hoynes is the second coming down there."

"He's right." Josh said.

"We are gathering steam." Sam said. "Early 1998 will be the true litmus test. CJ, when are we going to hit the talk show circuit."

"We need better numbers first. Probably after New Hampshire, do the morning shows if he shows a strong third in Iowa…hoping for second is insane. Definitely after North Dakota. South Carolina will be the true test and that is not until March. The Governor's schedule is about to get busy."

"And we are about to sleep even less." Donna mumbled. "Toby, stop at the Walgreen's…I need Advil or something."

***

On a snowy Wednesday in mid-November CJ stayed late at headquarters. She sat in the back on the long couch, scribbling out plans for the January speaking schedule and press stops. Some reporters were sticking around; seeing that the dark horse was serious about his bid. Even Hoynes was paying attention now, though he pretended he was not. This was the reason Josh Lyman left…maybe this Bartlet guy listened to him. He also knew CJ Cregg was on Bartlet's team…she made him a hero to women during his Senate campaign.

Now CJ sat and thought about making Jed Bartlet women's best friend. The earphones from her Discman covered most of her head; Marc Cohn crooning to her helped her relax. She wished she could relax in her tub back at the motel, but the boys never left her alone for more than ten minutes. They had so many strategy meetings over the past month. It was almost time to introduce America to Jed Bartlet.

Who was the man anyway? Most of the time he was sniping at his staff; questioning their abilities. Leo was the only one he listened to; he didn't even listen to Abbey all the time. It was a stressful situation for all of them. CJ bit her lip so many times…fighting her urge to tell the Governor of New Hampshire to kiss her ass. He was a good man, an eloquent speaker, and it would be amazing to see him in the White House. That was if one of them did not put a pillow over his face first.

"Hey."

CJ screamed, ripping the earphones from her ears and staring at Leo with frightened blue eyes.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Leo shoved his hands in his pockets.

Leo McGarry looked shy and it endeared CJ to him.

"Well you did." She replied, though there was no anger in her voice.

Leo sat beside her on the couch; she moved down a bit.

"What are you doing here alone at this hour CJ?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Yes, you could, but I am not in the mood for circular conversation." Leo said.

She nodded, though it was hardly a response.

"I missed you CJ. I missed you from the moment I left you in Heathrow Airport in 1984."

"You were not in the best shape to conduct a relationship." CJ said. "It was just a fling Leo."

"It did not feel that way. Especially when I sobered up long enough to recall real memories of you." He said.

"Well, it was a long time ago."

"Yeah. I just hope it does not affect our attempts at a friendship here. Being your friend is important to me."

"There is nothing to make amends for, if that has been a concern for you."

Leo was quiet for a while. He went to the fridge and grabbed a Coke, holding a bottle of Sam Adams out for CJ. She nodded.

"I have always found your bravado and cynicism sexy." He said, rejoining her on the couch. "The amends comment, however, was rude."

"It certainly was not intended to be." CJ replied. "Seriously Leo; I apologize."

"Yeah. Look, it was a long time ago and I want you to know I am not going to let it affect the work we are trying to do here."

There was more silence; CJ felt uncomfortable. She wanted to say so much and was not sure what half of it was. Mostly she wanted to put her arms around him…she never hugged him in the airport that day. She sighed when she felt his hand on her ankle again.

"What were you listening to anyway?" Leo asked. "It had you mesmerized."

"Marc Cohn. I need a cigarette; wanna join me?"

Leo rose from the couch and then helped CJ up. They went out on the back porch. Leo stared at the stars as he lit CJ's cigarette and then his own. It was a beautiful, if cold, night in Manchester.

"I love Marc Cohn." He said.

"You do? What is your favorite song of his?"

"This week it is Silver Thunderbird. What about you?"

"I can't choose. You know it bothers me that we are not talking Leo. We always seemed to…"

CJ's cell phone rang and she picked it up.

"Hey."

"Are you still at the store front?" Larry asked.

"Yeah."

"Should I walk over to pick you up?"

"No. Leo just came in so I will bum a ride from him. I will see you later."

"Professor McGarry and his favorite student back together again." There was not an ounce of jealousy in his voice. He said it more as a joke.

"Shut up."

"Did he offer more private tutoring?"

CJ could not help but laugh at that one. Leo loved that sound.

"I'm going to get you for that later." She said into her cell phone.

"Looking forward to it. See ya."

"Bye."

"You need a ride back to the motel?" Leo asked.

"Actually, I will walk. But if the guys find out they will get mad at me. I've taken care of myself for years and now I have brothers again. When they get too overprotective it pisses me off."

"They are not used to having special women in their lives." Leo said. "That, and they are all secretly in love with you."

"Toby is married and Sam is engaged." CJ replied in a matter of fact tone.

"Sam's engagement has been broken. And unfortunately, Toby's marriage is falling apart. Believe me, I know what that is like. I'm not fond of the idea of you walking back alone either. Please accept my ride."

CJ lit another cigarette. She leaned against the railing and Leo stood close to her.

"What kind of car do you drive?" she asked.

"I have a BMW."

He took gentle hold of her wrist and kissed her mouth. CJ looped a long arm around hi neck and pulled him closer, careful not to burn him with her cigarette. Leo broke away first, running his thumb along CJ's bottom lip.

"It still feels the same." He whispered.

"How's that?"

"Magic."

She leaned in for another kiss, forgetting everything else. She always did when she was in Leo's arms. The ice was getting thinner.

***

"Wake up princess."

"Don't call me that." CJ grumbled.

"Why not?"

"Cuz I hate it."

"Oh you do? Then you shall…" he kissed her. "from now on…" another kiss. "be known as…" kiss. "princess." The last kiss was passionate. "Princess, princess, princess."

CJ laughed, pulling Larry down on top of her. She slept in his room the night before. It was always warmer in there…it seemed as if CJ's heat was on the fritz. They hadn't made love, just talked. Larry worried about his place in the non-existent Bartlet Administration.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

CJ lay on her back and Larry was in her arms. Neither wore clothes, but sex was not on their minds. It was after midnight and sleep was not either.

"Sure. What's the matter?"

"What is a job in the Administration for the Director of Fundraising?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, let's think about it. Josh is Leo's right hand man, Toby and Sam will run communications and you will wrangle the press. Where does that leave me?"

"Larry, you have been here from the beginning…Josh will make sure that you are not left out in the cold. You have worked just as hard as everyone else on this campaign, if not harder. Getting money from some of these penny-pinching bastards is not easy. Let's make you Secretary of the Treasury."

Larry smirked.

"I don't want to be kept around because I'm Josh Lyman's boyhood friend and Leo knows my dad. Worries cross my mind." He admitted.

"For heaven's sake, why? I doubt we will even have steam by Super Tuesday…Hoynes is still the frontrunner. We're just chugging along. Don't get an ulcer about the future."

"Is that what we are doing?" he asked.

CJ knew what he was asking her. She ran her fingers through the hair close to his neck and shushed him. His hands massaged her flat stomach.

"Answer me something Princeton."

"Yeah?"

"What is your favorite song?"

"Jack and DianE."

"Really?" CJ asked.

"From the first second I heard it. Two American kids doing the best that they can. I love that Diane is the debutante of the back seat of his car."

CJ smiled, kissing his forehead.

"Go to sleep."

"OK."

Now in the morning, CJ tried to extract Larry from his boxers but he took hold of her hands.

"I have to tell you something." He said.

"What?"

"Josh was here this morning while you were asleep."

"So he saw me?" CJ asked.

"Yeah. I felt it was better to be truthful with him. I wasn't sure if it was a deep secret or something."

"Its not." CJ assured him. "I would prefer if Toby didn't know. Sometimes he thinks he has a say in the choices I make."

"Well I asked Josh for his discretion. I've known him since I was seven and I trust him."

"I have not known him that long and I trust him. Stop talking now and fuck me."

Larry held her down on the bed and CJ smiled.

"We have a meeting this morning. I'm afraid you are going to have to wait unless you want to make up an excuse why we are both late."

"I hate waiting." CJ said.

"Ooh, too bad. I have to shower and so do you."

He climbed off her and the bed. She sat up like a tigress fresh from sleep and Larry fought the urge to damn the meeting to hell. He wanted to jump back in bed and make her scream his name…she had yet to do that.

"Larry?"

"Hmm?"

"You do realize that Josh's idea of discretion involves telling Sam and Donna, right?"

"Oh, yeah."

"As long as we are all on the same page."

***

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart_  
And the very next day you gave it away  
This year to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special

Toby and Larry walked into the back room of the storefront and found CJ and Josh dancing and singing pop Christmas tunes from the radio.

"You ought to be ashamed Josh." Toby said.

"Why?"

"You don't even celebrate Christmas."

"So? Pop Christmas songs are the best. If you can't get down to the Eurythmics singing Walking in a Winter Wonderlandyou cannot call yourself an American. Smile Toby, its Wham for Christ's sake."

Toby was not moved. Larry laughed as CJ lit a cigarette.

"Did Sam get off OK?" she asked.

"Yeah." Larry replied. "Do you have plans for the holiday?"

"I will be at the farm house with the Bartlet brood. Pray for me."

"You are not going home?" Toby asked.

"Tobus, you know I don't get along with my stepmother."

"Geez." Josh said. "All these years and you can't find one thing in common with Madelyn."

"OK, I did find one thing in common with Madelyn. Too bad my father divorced her and married Theresa."

"Who knew a math teacher had so much mojo?" Larry asked.

It was December 22nd and snowing in Manchester. Donna had already gone home to Wisconsin for the holiday. Sam left for Orange County to visit his parents. In the next hour, Larry would start the drive to Providence and Josh would take a short plane ride to Connecticut. His father had just been diagnosed with cancer and he wanted to spend some time with him.

"Are you sure you want to spend Christmas alone?" Toby asked.

"I will not be alone. I will be with the Bartlets and Leo. What about you?"

"I have a wife to go home to." Toby replied in a tone that did not convey at all what it would be like to spend some time with Andi since the second miscarriage. "I am going back to DC."

"She didn't change the locks on you yet?" Josh asked.

Larry knocked him on the back of the head and Toby thanked him.

"C'mon Josh," he said. "I will take you to the airport."

Josh grabbed his ever-present backpack and his suitcase. He hugged and kissed CJ.

"Merry Christmas." He said.

"Thank you. Kiss your parents for me and rest up because we are jumping in with both feet after this break."

"I know."

Josh patted Toby's back before heading for the door. Larry hugged and kissed CJ too, lingering for a moment.

"I'll call you." She whispered.

"You don't have to."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"Larry…"

"Toby is here. Call me OK."

CJ sucked her teeth, giving him an extra kiss on the lips.

"Please drive safely." She said.

"I will. Happy holidays Toby."

"Yeah."

He waited until they were the only two people in the room before speaking again.

"You two are involved." He said.

"No, well, I don't know. We are something."

"Larry."

"Why do you say it like that? As if he has the plague? I am sick to death of the way you have been acting. You get no say on what I do with my life Toby Ziegler. Check your own bedroom…I hear it is cold these days."

"I guess you were only half joking about fucking everyone on the campaign." There was bitterness in his voice.

"Go to hell. I didn't hear you complaining when you got your piece in California. You are a hypocrite and a motherfucker."

"If it is so important, this Larry thing, how come nobody knows?"

"Everybody knows…except you. Now go home to your wife."

"Have a merry Christmas with Leo."

"Fuck you."

She turned her back on him as he walked out of the room. He was back in a few minutes. CJ was opening a bottle of beer with shaky hands. She hated fighting with him; it was emotionally draining. She fought back the tears of anger and sadness.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"You are not Toby. You are jealous and you are bitter; I hardly know you anymore."

"Things are falling apart."

"Stop them." She said.

"I can't. It is out of my hands."

CJ shrugged.

"Then start anew, with or without her. I am here for you, but you CANNOT believe that you have the right to exercise control over my life."

"Do you have feelings for Larry?"

"He is a great guy Toby, he always has been. This is not the real world and the rules are not the same. Larry and I are in this with both eyes open. Don't you have a plane to DC?"

Toby looked at his watch.

"Yeah. Have a good holiday CJ."

"I will never give up on you Tobus."

"I thought you already had." He replied.

'"I didn't. Go, before we have another fight."

He walked out, more than a bit upset that he had not received the hug and kiss everyone else got for their journey. CJ rushed out to the door before he walked out. She threw her arms around him and kissed his mouth.

"I love you, you bastard." She said.

"I love you too."

Leo walked in as he was leaving. CJ walked away from him and started absently to organize the clutter.

"Have you been crying?" he asked.

"They played Oh, Holy Night on the radio." She lied. "It does it to me every time. What's up?"

"We should ride to the farm house together. It seems silly to take two cars to the same place and back again."

"Oh. Alright."

"Are you sure?" Leo asked.

She was not sure about anything right now. Except that getting the hell away from all of this madness was essential to her sanity.

"Mmm hmm. I just have to go back to the motel and grab my bag. Are we on a tight schedule?"

"Hell no, to hell with the schedule. Do you want to have dinner first? There is this great Italian place and I want to take you there."

"OK. Let me freshen up."

***

They made love on Christmas night. The heat crackled between them from the second CJ got into his car that night. Knowing glances, tiny touches, smiles that conveyed a million words. Cups of coffee and cigarettes in the late hours on the side porch bundled under a blanket. CJ finally got around to telling him her life story, using her PR skills to color the things that pained her. She listened to Leo's stories of falling into the gutter one too many times. He confessed to her about the valium. He never told anyone but Jed and the rehab people.

"I thought about you a lot in rehab." He told her on Christmas eve. "I never forgot you but it was not until my mind was clear from all the poison for real that I could see your face again. I finally remembered what your laugh sounded like and what your skin smelled like. I remembered the Furs tee shirt you wore the first night we made love."

"The Psychedelic Furs." CJ could hardly speak she was so flustered. "I remember it all too."

"But to remember after forgetting CJ; it was like being with you all over again. Except you weren't there and I didn't know how to find you."

"You found me."

"I found Toby first. Then I stole Josh and he brought in Sam, Larry, and Donna. I Googled you."

"You Googled me?" CJ asked with a smile.

"I did. I knew of some of the work you had done, but when I saw your picture…"

"I hope you did not bring me into this campaign to try and rekindle something Leo."

He shook his head.

"You six are the best. I brought you here so Jed Bartlet could be the next President of the United States. The fact that I love you has no bearing on that."

"You don't love me…you don't even know me."

"I may not know hotshot PR California CJ; I admit that. Claudia Jean, on the other hand, has never left my heart."

"You don't love me." She whispered, sipping her cocoa.

"Oh Leo!" she cried out as he thrust inside her in the dimly lit downstairs bedroom.

God, it was still so good…earth shattering.

"Claudia Jean, oh baby. I want you so much."

"Don't stop." She grabbed hold of his back. "Deeper Leo; oh shit."

He lifted her thighs, going as far into her as he could. Then he nearly pulled out and rammed back in with all the strength he could muster. CJ's primal scream surely woke people as far away as Londonderry. She was crying, tears rolling down her face as he clutched her hips to control the flow of his sex.

"Is it good? Am I fucking you good baby?"

"Yes." She whimpered. "Oh yes. Leo! Leo! Oh God!"

She climaxed but he was still going; who knew he could at his age? His hand was between them, massaging her clit. He was the first man she had been with in years who did not need a treasure map to find it.

"Come for me again." He grunted. "Scream my name."

She did, crashing into her second orgasm as Leo exploded inside of her. He crumbled on top of her, and they were a mishmash of sex, sweat, and limbs. It had been a long time for him, the longest, and she was worth every second of the wait. He knew without her saying that she wanted him to remain inside her as long as he could. And when she started to cry again, the bliss engulfing her, he caressed her face and wiped her tears with gentle fingers. She certainly would never be able to tell him that it had not been that good since that first night in his expensive flat.

"Are you alright?" his voice was loving as he pulled out and took her into his arms.

"Yeah. I don't…"

"Shh. Not now CJ. We can talk later."

"Leo…"

"Shh. Good or bad baby, we will talk about it later."

He was the only man she ever let call her baby. With him it was sexy, inviting. There were no daddy overtones or sexist undertones. It was just his term of endearment for her and he always meant it when he said it. CJ ran her hands down his chest, stopping when she got to his pubic hair. She ran her fingers through it as Leo moaned his appreciation.

"Your touch is unparalleled." He said.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

CJ forgot how much this game turned her on.

"Of course."

"How much Leo?"

"Too much. I don't even know if I have another round in me but if you let me say some prayers Claudia Jean, I will see what I can do."

She smiled then laughed.

"You rest love; let me do the work."

"Oh God CJ, are you going to do what I think you are going to do?"

"That depends. Do you think I am going to give you a mind-numbing blowjob?"

"Yes." Leo could hardly breathe the word.

His mind flashed back to all those nights in his flat, grabbing the couch cushions, her hair, calling for God, thrusting his hips wildly. He had not had a better one before or since.

"Then you would be right." She replied.

Leo pushed the covers down.

"Show the man what he's won." He said.

***

"Hey Margaret. Hey Donna."

"Hey CJ."

It was December 27th and CJ Cregg was chipper. Still chipper even after Abbey Bartlet opened her bedroom door to find her and Leo in the throes of passion. The First Lady of New Hampshire nodded, winked, and closed the door. The lovemaking continued.

"Margaret, Leo is looking for you." CJ said.

"What? I didn't hear his bellow."

"He saw me coming and told me to tell you."

"OK. I'll be back."

Margaret left and CJ sat up on the table. Donna looked at her.

"What's happening Donna?"

"Nothing. What about you?"

"How was Christmas with the family?" CJ asked.

Donna smiled, thinking about her family. Her parents bickered, debating about whether to have the traditional Irish and Italian meals for Christmas Eve. In the end they compromised, as they always did, making more food than they knew what to do with. It was good for the many Bartlet staffers…Donna brought food back to Manchester.

"Did you get some of my mother's cookies?" Donna asked.

"Larry saved me some. They went fast."

"Larry huh? What's happening there?"

CJ shrugged. He had not called her at all over the short break. Then he jumped knee deep into fundraising for the election.

"I don't know. It's just a campaign thing."

She didn't know if she believed that even as it came out of her mouth. She also didn't know what was happening with Leo; they slipped easily back into their regular routine of Bartlet and avoidance.

"Yeah." Donna replied.

"What about you? Josh told me all about Dr. Freeride."

"Hey!" Donna snapped. "Don't call him that!"

Donna's angry tone surprised CJ. The younger woman took a deep breath.

"That's Josh's name for him; his name is Jeff. I loved him very much and though some crazy things happened between us I don't need him to be made legend around here. These guys never know when to stop butting into your life."

CJ certainly knew that to be true. It was the first time she thought about it, but Josh was her Toby. Her best friend but sometimes she hated him. Only your best friend could make you feel like that.

"He called me while I was home and we got together." Donna said.

"You are not weak Donna. You are human."

"He wants us to get back together. He loves me and wants to make it right. I can't run around the country and be with him. I have to make a choice."

"What did Sally say?" CJ asked.

She knew Donna had confided in Sally Seidleman.

"She said if I came back to Madison and gave up my big chance, she would put her foot in my ass."

CJ couldn't help but smirk.

"She doesn't understand though…she always beat them off with a stick. It was never like that with me."

"Hey Donna, that is bullshit. I'm sure you don't believe me because I'm just like a big sister, but it's true. If you love Jeff and want to give it another go with him then that is terrific. Don't you dare do it because you think you can't get better."

"This from the girls who has two guys hang dogging over her." Donna grumbled though she smiled.

"We don't need to talk about that." CJ replied.

"In Oxford you were in love with Leo; at least that's what you told me. I know 12 years is a long time but…is it still there?"

"God yes." CJ breathed, happy to have it out. "It doesn't mean anything Donna. He has to be at least 20 years older than me, and a whole bunch of other shit I don't want to get into."

"At least he is sober now." Donna said.

"There is that. I am so happy about that. Hey, this conversation was not supposed to be about me."

"Why not? Your dilemma is much more interesting than mine."

***

"Have dinner with me tonight CJ?"

She turned from the box she dug through.

"I can't find it Toby!" she exclaimed. "Grab one of those assistants and tell them to go through the boxes in Sam's office. I'm sorry Leo, what?"

"Will you have dinner with me tonight…to discuss the Penn speech."

"Oh, well Sam put a lot of work into that speech. Is something wrong with it? I can soften the blow for you if you'd like. He is an excellent writer but can be sensitive. I don't want you to inadvertently hurt his feelings."

"No, the speech is fine. I think the press is ready to ask the big questions and the Governor is ready to answer them. He plans officially to announce his contention in Philadelphia. The fact that it is the birthplace of American democracy is not lost on the Governor. It is January, and at least on the East Coast we are gathering steam."

"Oh."

"If you don't want to…"

"No, um, OK."

Her plan to watch basketball and drink beer with the boys followed by fucking Larry's brains out would have to be canceled. Oh well. Yeah, four months and the campaign sex was still on. New Year's Eve ended their short after Christmas drought. However, she almost ended up ringing in 1998 with Leo. CJ sighed.

"Are you avoiding me?" Leo asked quietly. "I am sorry about what happened on New Year's Eve."

"Don't be silly Leo, there is nothing to be sorry for. We talk everyday."

"That is not what I'm talking about Claudia Jean, and you know it. It's…"

"We found it!" Toby's exclamation interrupted him.

"I am not avoiding you Leo." CJ said. "What time for dinner?"

"How about nine? I have to spend some time with the Governor this evening."

"Yeah OK. Excuse me."

She had to let Larry know that their plans were canceled. Maybe they could meet up later. That was if she did not end up in bed with Leo. They could watch John Hoynes on Nightline. Damn, soon she would have to book Bartlet on more national shows. God, there was too much to do.

"You have not moved a muscle." Leo said, breaking her train of thought.

"Yeah, I started thinking. Excuse me."

This time CJ walked away and Leo watched her go. It had been 12 years, how crazy was he to think they pick up where they left off. And where had they left off anyway? So much life had happened between then and now.

***

"Damn you." CJ mumbled as she took all of him inside her.

"What did I do?" Leo groaned.

"Just shut up…oh God."

Leo was sitting up on the bed and CJ was on top of him, riding slow. She had her hands on his shoulders as Leo watched her tiny breasts bounce in anticipation.

"You are so fucking beautiful." He said through clenched teeth. "We need more light."

"If you move I will kill you." She took hold of his hand, moaning as her body milked his erection.

"Oh really?"

"Leo, don't play games. Oh God!"

"Uhh…"

Leo took a firm hold around her waist, flipping them over so CJ was now on the bed. How the hell did he do that? He had to be over fifty and she was six feet tall. Her legs were in the air as Leo tortured her with his slow, deliberate strokes. CJ whined underneath him, scratching her nails down his back. She pulled Leo into a passionate kiss as he increased the pace.

"Leo! Fuck me!"

She loved to say that, and he loved to hear it. It made him feel as if he was the best she ever had. He knew that he couldn't possibly be but the thought was a beautiful one.

"Oh I am, and I'm never going to stop you beautiful, beautiful girl."

"You better not!"

CJ wrapped her long legs around his waist, pushing on his buttocks so that he was deeper inside her. Then she heard the knock on the door.

"Ignore it." he growled in her ear.

"Damn right. Ohhh!"

There was a knock again but CJ was too busy crying out Leo's name with her orgasm to care.

"Claudia Jean! I love you so much."

He climaxed and CJ held him.

"See," she said, trailing her lips down his throat and feeling his pulse. "You always say just dinner. You are leading me down the highway to hell Leo McGarry."

"I thought dinner was excellent. Though dessert was definitely better. I'm looking forward to the nightcap."

Leo pulled out and before CJ could complain, he lifted her thighs onto his shoulders. Sitting up on his knees so that CJ was nearly upside down, he made love to her with his fingers and mouth.

"Leo! Ooh shit!"

Her arms flew out and she groaned her pleasure until she was climaxing.

"Oh yeah." She whispered, pulling him into her arms.

"There is someone else." She said wondering why intense orgasms made her truthful.

"I know. Larry, right?"

"Yeah."

"I can't pretend that I own you CJ. Is it serious?"

"I don't know. This time we're living in, this campaign, its not quite real. Larry knows that too."

"What about me CJ? Am I real? Do you want to stop this; I certainly don't want to be the cause of any pain in your life. That was never the intention."

CJ shook her head; she had no idea what to do.

"I just want to sleep…tomorrow is going to be crazy."

"Can I stay? I just want to hold you." Leo said.

"As long as you're prepared to getup at 5:30." She replied sleepily.

"I am. I need to hold you tonight. Do you love me Claudia Jean?"

"That's not fair."

"None of this is fair." He countered.

"If I say yes and continue with Larry what does that make me?" she asked.

"Human. I want to be everything you need CJ, but obviously I cannot be. It kills me to think you could find it with him."

"Then what does it matter?"

"It matters to me." Leo whispered.

"Go to sleep Leo. Please."

"OK." He tightened his embrace on her. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, don't you dare. I have always loved you, and I don't know if it's going to do anything but hurt."

"I'm never going to hurt you baby. Hold onto me, I promise."

***

CJ pushed her hands up against the wall of her motel room as Larry took her from behind. It was a rainy Tuesday in Manchester and the highway to hell was quite slippery when wet.

"Oh CJ!"

"Harder!"

She bent over some, letting her hands slide down the wall as Larry reached in front of her. When CJ let out an excited whimper, he tried to pull back.

"Don't pull back! Oh God, don't move!"

"Are you alright?"

'Shut up and keep touching right there. I mean it."

He did, thrusting in and out, as he made circular motions around her clit. CJ whimpered again as she tightened around him.

"Oh God! Larry! Uhh…"

Larry came at the same time she did, falling over sideways onto the bed. He was still touching her there and soon CJ was coming again, yowling like a cat in heat as she clawed at his arm.

"Whoa."

He had pulled out and was resting on his side looking at her. CJ was lying on her back trying to catch her breath and fall back to Earth.

"Um, what was that about? You were…I don't even know what you were."

"My clit. You finally found it."

"What?"

"What what? I was wondering if it would ever happen and it finally did. Congratulations Larry."

"Where is it?"

He spread her thighs and looked at her sex. CJ laughed, gently slapping the top of his head.

"You're certifiable, you know that? Here," she pointed it out. "Do you see it?"

"That little thing is the source of all your pleasure. Women are amazing."

"We do alright for ourselves." CJ replied.

He draped his body over hers and CJ smiled. She ran her hands down his back as he slid between her legs.

"So, tell me how it feels if I touch you like this."

Larry stroked her clit and CJ's back came up from the mattress.

"Oh shit, don't be a tease. Don't act like you discovered America."

He was inside her again, kissing away her biting comments.

***

The days and nights became blurs of truck stops, town meetings, interviews, coffee, and cigarettes, photo ops, strategy sessions, and speeches. Josiah Bartlet was a name that was recognizable now and with strong third place showing in Iowa after taking New Hampshire, his Senior Staff looked forward to South Carolina. If he could just place second.

"If he places second and Wiley drops out, we are taking Hoynes down." Josh said.

Another strategy session, this time in a hotel in Cleveland. Jed Bartlet spoke at a VFW that evening. He talked about Medicare, military spending, and better hospitals. It was a good speech, but Toby was not overly impressed with his oratory skills.

"He's tired." CJ said, reaching over Larry and grabbing a shrimp popper.

"You think Hoynes won't use that against him?" Sam asked. "He is younger, and muscular, not to mention he is attractive. They always have pictures of him jogging, or playing tennis. People love that vibrant look."

"We'll make the Governor rest." Larry said. "He is always better when he is well-rested."

"You want to tell him to take a nap man?" Josh asked.

Larry smirked.

"We will have Leo do it." Larry said. "He listens to Leo."

"You can convince Leo, right CJ?" Toby asked.

She cut her eyes at him.

"Sure. It is important that he looks good in the camera's glare. I will take it to him tonight." She glanced at Larry. "Or maybe tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is good." Josh said. "We need more TV."

"I got Charlie Rose, Ted Koppel, and Wolf Blitzer all on speed dial. I want him to do a couple of televised town hall meetings too. He needs to get in the churches."

"He's a Catholic." Toby replied as if he was the only person at the table who knew.

"Yeah, and so is a small population of the American public." Sam said.

"Not that small." Larry said.

CJ could see where this was going. Politics, religion, and sex…Presidential campaigns really were a disaster waiting to happen.

"I am not going to headcount Catholics." She said in a 'shut up' tone. "If he wants the black vote he better do to the Baptist and Pentecostal churches. If I see one more picture of John Hoynes with a preacher or singing in a gospel choir I am going to throw up. We need Bartlet in the synagogues too."

"What about women and gays?" Sam asked.

"Education and family leave are high on the Governor's priority list." Larry said. "That includes maternity leave."

"I have no idea where he stands on gays." Toby said.

"Someone better find out ASAP." CJ said. "I'm serious. It's an issue…marriage, adoption, military, hate crimes. He cannot remain quiet."

"That's like asking Mr. Rogers how he feels about gay people." Josh replied, flagging for another beer.

"The Mr. Rogers persona is bullshit." Toby said.

"For the Governor or the real Mr. Rogers?" Larry asked.

CJ laughed, putting her hand over the mouth of his beer.

"You're flagged Tonto." She said. "Just ask him…we'll defer again to Leo if we have to."

"We're going to have to get used to posing the tough questions." Josh said. "The polls have good numbers right now…he could still be a contender for the nod."

"He is a contender." Sam amended. "Hoynes is getting nervous. Soon he'll be bashing."

"The Governor will not run a dirty campaign." Larry said.

"He will before he goes back to the State House of New Hampshire in disgrace." Toby said, looking at his watch. "Shit, I need to call my wife."

"I have to call my dad." Josh said.

"How is he?" CJ asked.

"Better some days than others. Cancer, that's what we need a cure for. Radiation therapy, while it kills cancer cells it also kills all the good cells. That's why relapse is so prevalent in more aggressive cancers…the immune system is too weak to fight it off."

"Someday." Sam replied. "Tell him I said hello."

"Me too." Larry said.

"You got it. I'll see you guys later."

Sam was right behind him; he knew(most of the time) when he was the odd man out.

"You're on a roll princess." Larry said.

"What do you mean?" CJ asked smiling.

"It is a joy to watch you work. You're amazing with the press."

"You're not too bad yourself; a man of the people. Our war chest grows."

"Hey, most of the time Leo sets them up and I just knock them down."

"There is something to be said for knocking them down." CJ said, reaching to caress his hand. "If you don't stop selling yourself short I am going to punch you."

"Hey, don't play games. You know how hard you hit." He smiled. "Look CJ…"

"Claudia Cregg."

CJ froze and Larry felt the arctic breeze. John Hoynes, the Senator from Texas and frontrunner for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States walked into the darkened bar.

"Hello Senator." She said.

"I thought I heard your laugh earlier. Believed I was dreaming."

"You know Larry Reynolds, don't you?"

The two men shook hands and mumbled pleasantries.

"Well it seems as if the Governor of New Hampshire just hit the big leagues." He said.

"Yeah. Everyone will have to step up their dog and pony show from here on out. Photo ops are not going to do it anymore."

"The next couple of weeks will show where we all stand." John replied.

"I don't think so." Larry said. "It will just show someone the door."

"I have a meeting so I should go. Claudia Jean, you look utterly fantastic as always. Good to see you again Lenny."

"Larry, Senator. You too."

John walked away and CJ needed another beer. She flagged down the server. She got a Guinness for herself and Larry.

'I thought I was flagged." He said.

"Not anymore. You were saying something before we were interrupted."

"Yeah. Gimme that hand back, it helped."

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I have to break up with you and it's hard."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Oh come on; this can't go on forever. You have to know how much you mean to me. I want us to be friends for life; in case South Carolina and Illinois don't go as planned."

"OK."

"I love you, you know."

"I do know." CJ replied with a nod.

"In Oxford I always racked my brain trying to figure out why I couldn't get you to look at me twice."

"Shut up…I looked at you plenty." She sipped the beer in front of her.

"No you didn't, and I finally figured out why. You want to know the craziest thing?"

"Oh there's more? Do tell."

"I didn't figure it out until my first semester of law school. When I met Professor Sharon Morton and I felt my heart drop in my shoes. You were in love with Leo McGarry and I think you still are."

"Larry…"

"I was never sure if he reciprocated until we got to Manchester."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. We're definitely having some awesome breakup sex."

CJ laughed, lighting a cigarette.

"Damn right we are. I never wanted to hurt you Larry; you mean a lot to me."

"I'm OK. Especially since I know this is the right thing." He replied.

"What if its not?" CJ asked.

She knew how she felt about Leo and Larry but she also knew that she desired a life without drama. It would be like a dream come true. Maybe desired was the wrong word…hell CJ Cregg had no idea how she felt.

"Lets go upstairs." She said, pushing her beer glass across the table.

***

It was 2am when the knock on the door sent CJ running out of the shower.

"What did you leave Prince--..."

The words died when she looked at the face of Leo McGarry. He still wore his suit from that evening. It was dark blue with a crisp white dress shirt with a blue silk tie with white stripes. She swallowed her gasp.

"Should I ask?" he asked.

"I don't think so."

CJ suddenly realized how inadequate her towel was. Her height was a real disadvantage. It certainly covered around but the breeze between her thighs was a clear indication that Leo was currently looking at what her father always described as God's precious gift.

"Gonna invite me in Claudia Jean? I mean I am not opposed to continuing this in the hallway, but…"

"Get in here."

CJ pulled him in by the arm and Leo laughed. The full throttle Leo laugh that made her knees weak and her stomach quake.

"Do you mind if I take off my jacket?" he asked.

"No. I better get dressed."

"Not on my account. You look beautiful."

Leo sat on the unmade bed as CJ went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Do you have anything to drink in here?" he asked.

"Bottled water and Coke in the fridge."

She came out of the bathroom in a pair of sweats and a Smiths tee shirt.

"That's that band." Leo said.

"Good job Leo." CJ didn't know where to sit. With nothing else to do, she turned on the radio. She fiddled with the stations until she found Eric Clapton singing Pretending. She love Eric Clapton.

"No, it's the moody guy who thinks nobody loves him. Am I right?"

"Yeah." She sat against the pillows. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

"Sleep and I do not always get along. I took a walk and came here on a whim. Did you book any shows?"

"Next week. We are right where we need to be. If we collect big at this fundraiser tomorrow we will be even better."

"Larry is good at his job…we will get the money."

"He is good at his job." CJ replied.

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a while and CJ watched as Leo took off his shoes.

"What are you wearing?" she asked.

"Dare I say that I do not understand the question."

"Your scent Leo."

"Drakkar Noir."

"I have always loved it."

He smiled. He scooted to the top of the bed with her as Breathe sang How Can I Fall. Leo cupped her chin and brought her face close to his. CJ lapped his parted lips with her tongue. He closed his eyes as they kissed…that still amazed her.

"The problem is," he whispered. "If you are close I have to get to you."

CJ deepened the kiss, her hand behind his head bringing him so close that they shared a single breath.

"Larry broke it off this evening." CJ said after they pulled apart and she could breathe again.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. We wanted our friendship to be intact when all of this over. It was for the best."

She reached up to loosen his tie before unbuttoning his shirt. The tie went over his head; the shirt down his arms. Leo smiled as CJ pulled the belt from the loops and unbuttoned his dress pants. When she opened them the beginnings of Leo's erection greeted her. Leo lifted his hips and buttocks as she slid the pants down his legs. The socks went too, and Leo took CJ into his arms. They relaxed against the pillows.

"You cannot sleep on your back Leo." She said in a matter of fact tone.

She turned on her side, throwing covers over them as Leo spooned behind her. He pushed his clothes over to the wall. CJ sighed as she felt her body mold to his.

"I think Jed Bartlet is going to be the next President of the United States." Leo said when she turned off the radio and lamp.

"You want to talk about politics now?"

"I'm just saying…"

"Stop talking. I am only going to be able to catch one z as it is. Are you going to be able to sleep?"

"Yeah. It's always easier when you are in my arms."

"You must have had twelve years of sleepless nights." CJ joked.

"You have no idea." He kissed her neck. "I love you Claudia Jean."

"I love you too."

***

"Hey, I was looking for you guys."

Josh walked out to the pool area of the Atlanta Holiday Inn. It was supposed to be closed but Donna dangled her feet in the water and CJ relaxed on a long lawn chair. They were sharing a bottle of Ballatore champagne.

"How is your father?" Donna asked.

CJ's eyes were closed but she was not asleep. The lights reflecting off the water and the breeze causing the water to ripple made her a bit nauseous.

"OK. This is the last round of chemo coming up. I want Illinois to be his 'congratulations your cancer is in remission' gift. The Governor is going to ask John Hoynes to be his Vice-President nominee."

"What!" CJ was up now. "Which one of you came up with that idea?"

"Hoynes is 13 years younger. If he takes the Vice-President spot and Bartlet gets elected, he's got the White House clinched in 8 years. If he doesn't he goes back to the Hill."

"And if Bartlet loses? He looks like an idiot." CJ countered. "What's this really about?"

"Hoynes gets the White House eventually but we get the South now."

"LBJ." Donna mumbled.

"Exactly. Not everyone is overly fond of a Nobel Prize winner from New England." Josh said. "I think we have South Carolina and Illinois in the bag. California and Florida are still question marks. We want to to go the Convention with a clear winner…no one wants the delegates choosing anything."

"Hoynes is owed too many favors." CJ said.

"Exactly. This gets us the win and Hoynes an absolute guarantee to be there in eight years. He does not have that right now. Also, plenty of other major players are clamoring to get on the short list for Vice-President. The Senator will be happy to thumb his nose at those guys."

"They are constantly going to butt heads." CJ said.

Josh shook his head.

"He is not even going to be in the building." He replied. "We're putting him back in the OEOB."

"I'm sure the Senator will like that." Donna said.

"Who cares what he likes? He likes the Oval Office. I think if the Governor asks and lays it out the way we discussed, it's an offer that Hoynes cannot refuse."

"I don't like the fact that I was kept out of these meetings."

Josh looked at her with wide brown eyes.

"Whoa! Uh uh, it was not like that. It was Leo, Toby and I throwing around names for the short list and having an idea. I came down here right after that."

"Then how do you know the Governor will do it?" CJ asked.

"I don't, for sure. I just know that Leo took it to him and he trusts Leo."

"I cannot believe I was pushed off or left out of this crucial conversation."

"Well, its done." Josh replied with a tone of finality CJ did not like at all. "We are also getting a media consultant."

"What!" now she stood with a wobbly stance. "I am a fucking media consultant!"

"CJ, calm down." Donna pulled her feet out of the water.

"What is this shit Joshua?"

"You know you are the best at your job, and we do too. You're also spread thin. We need someone to glitter him up for the MTV generation, for the people we may not like but who vote anyway."

"Fuck those people! Jed Bartlet does not need to be ready for his close up."

"Do we really need to be yelling?" Josh asked.

"I do! So we are going to hire Carson fucking Daly to compensate. For what? What the hell is so wrong with being smart all of a sudden? I am not going to help you, or anyone, dumb down America!"

"I'm not going to talk with you if you are being irrational."

Josh went back into the building. CJ screamed, smashing the half-full bottle of champagne onto the ground.

"This is not acceptable!" she exclaimed.

"No, what is unacceptable is we don't have anything else to drink." Donna replied in a sad tone.

CJ looked at her and started to laugh. She plopped back onto the lawn chair and wiped her eyes, not sure where the tears came from.

"Dammit." She muttered.

"I'm sorry CJ."

Taking a deep breath CJ lit a cigarette. Oh my God, they pushed her out. This was such bullshit. She stood up.

"I have to talk to Leo."

"Don't. Don't go in there when you are angry…it'll become about something else."

"When did you become so educated in the ways of men and women Donna?"

"You're going to do it anyway, aren't you?" the younger woman replied.

"I'll see you later sweetie. Have a good night."

"I would wish the same for you, but…"

"My night is going to be just fine; Leo on the other hand is in for something special. See ya."

***

CJ opened her hotel door and looked at Leo. He had that adorable lopsided grin that usually made her want to melt. Tonight it made her blood boil.

"Hey baby."

She walked away from the door and Leo looked after her with a raised eyebrow. He went into the room, closing the door behind him.

"I was thinking…"

"Funny, here is what I was thinking. I was thinking you are a son of a bitch and I don't know why I deluded myself into thinking this would ever work."

"What are you talking about? Have you been drinking?"

"John Hoynes!" she exclaimed. "You pick a Vice-President and I am not even in the room!"

"It did not start out as a strategy session. It…"

"I don't want to hear it! When it became one no one thought 'hey we should go get CJ, she might care about this'. Nobody thought that after busting my ass for several months I might want a say?"

"Clearly we weren't thinking." Leo replied.

"Oh, that is painfully obvious. I am not going to be pushed out of this Leo. If you Toby, and Josh want to run the show, fine. I can get my ass back on a plane and go home. If you want to push someone around it is not going to be me. I gave up a lot to be here…I am not a secondary member of this team."

"I never said that. None of us did."

"How many back door sessions have there been? Now I learn from Josh that you are hiring a media consultant. Just get a knife and stab me in my chest Leo."

"What? We're in this now CJ; the cast of characters is going to grow. You'd be naïve to think it would stay a mom and pop operation."

"Yeah? Bring in another speechwriter and see how much Toby likes it."

Leo sighed. He did not want to deal with this tonight. He just wanted to be with her.

"I am not going to fight with you. A few decisions were made, you were not left out on purpose, lets move on."

"Move onto what? I will work on the fringes, I will be a professional. But if you think you are going to fuck me over all day and fuck me all night you can forget it. Not after what you've done."

"I didn't do anything to you. It was one meeting!"

"Today Leo, it was one meeting today. This campaign has a way to go. Don't you know they follow your lead? The Governor follows your lead. God," she ran her fingers through her hair. "I was so stupid to think this would ever work."

"You can't mix what is happening with us personally and our professional squabbles CJ."

"There is no more personal. Its over."

"CJ…"

'There is nothing to discuss."

"That's immature."

"Excuse me?" her blue eyes blazed.

"There are going to be times when we clash at this. We need to separate the other life…"

"There is no other life Leo; this is everything right now. I cannot sleep with you at night while you relegate me to secondary status all day long. Either I am a valued member of this team or I am not. I'm not here to be your girlfriend…I'm not a groupie with the band."

"No one ever treated you that way. If you want out of you and me then be a woman about it. Don't you dare use the campaign as an excuse; a half-ass excuse."

CJ slapped him across the face. Leo stumbled back with a stunned look. It was the first time a woman had ever hit him. And it hurt like holy hell.

"Don't you ever…!"

He grabbed her hard by the arm and CJ struggled.

"You get your goddamn hands off me!" she screamed.

"If you ever hit me again CJ, I swear to God…!"

"Leo!' she screeched. "Get off me! You're hurting me! I mean it!"

His grip was tight but CJ pushed on him a few times and dislodged herself.

"Don't you ever, ever grab me like that again!" she was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Fuck you to hell Leo McGarry! You are a lousy excuse for a man! You are selfish; you haven't changed a bit. I will not go down this road with you ever again. Get out of my room! Find someone else to be your insipid whore."

"This is unbearable. What the hell is the matter with you?" he stepped forward. "You don't have to act insane because one thing didn't go how CJ wanted."

"Just go Leo. Get out of my room!" She pushed him hard and Leo nearly growled at her he was so angry.

Leo turned and walked out before he did something that was unforgivable. CJ would not give him the satisfaction of crying about this. She only chastised herself for believing that anything romantic would ever come to pass between her and Leo. Then she turned out the lamp and fell into a restless sleep.

***

Everyone was a nervous wreck the night of the Illinois Primary. They were in Chicago again, John Hoynes took the Vice-President stick, and a guaranteed move up the ladder just as they thought he would. The team worked well together and with their new media consultant Mandy Hampton. Josh seemed to like her more than anyone else. CJ, while professional and cordial, did not trust her at all. Donna felt Mandy had relegated her to hired help status and not a valued member of the team.

"Tonight's the night." Sam said, taking the beer CJ offered him. "What's the matter?"

"I just wish it was anyone but John Hoynes."

"We need him, it is the right decision."

Sam did not seem at all perturbed about being left out of this "right" decision.

"You think he doesn't know that we need him? He is going to be more trouble than he is worth."

"You really don't like him. Is it personal?"

"We sort of worked together in the past. I know the real John Hoynes."

Sam nodded.

"I think we are going to the White House CJ. To hell with the real John Hoynes."

She put on a false smile as Josh walked by.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I've been calling home all day and I can't get an answer."

"Isn't your dad going in for chemo today?" Sam asked.

"It's his last round. I want to make sure they're watching when we take this tonight. Hey Donna!"

Josh walked away from Sam went in the other direction. CJ did not mean being alone; it would give her time to clear her head. Larry walked by suddenly, pulling her hand and taking her with him.

"Whoa, where are we going?"

"Shh."

He took her into the bathroom and locked the door. She just looked at him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You, princess, need 5 minutes. For the past six weeks you have walked around here like an automaton. You may not want to tell me why, and that is fine, but I want to help."

He sat on the rim of the sink and pulled CJ between his legs; her back resting on his chest. She breathed a sigh when she felt his hands massaging her neck and shoulders. With all that was happening CJ had forgotten how good he was at making her feel better.

"Take a few deep breaths." He said. "Tonight is going to be a big, special night for you Claudia Jean Cregg."

"I don't deserve this." She mumbled. "Not after the way I treated you."

"Psst." Larry laughed. "I broke up with you, remember?"

"How is that chronic masturbation thing going for you?" CJ asked, a smile suddenly on her face.

"It has its moments. Nothing on your mouth though."

"You're damn right."

They both laughed. Larry leaned forward to kiss the nape of her neck. The door opened and Leo McGarry walked into their sanctuary. The tension returned to CJ's shoulders but Larry kept massaging.

"I thought it was empty." Leo said. "The door was unlocked."

"It was not." CJ replied.

"I think the lock may be broken." Larry said.

"Oh." Leo looked at his feet. "Excuse me."

"The one off the master bath should be available." Larry said.

"Yeah. You guys can't hide in here all night. Numbers are coming in soon."

"We need a few minutes alone." CJ tried not to use the exasperated tone she felt.

Leo walked out and closed the door.

"Aha." Larry said. "Ding, ding, ding."

"Shut up. Is that the kind of end you expected for us?"

"Something like that. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Except to say if this goes as we all plan it to none of us will have time for campaign sex under the guise of romance."

***

The music rang through the room. Yes, Celebration was a bit cliché, but they had been victorious. Josh lifted CJ into the air, kissing her mouth. She got the same treatment from Sam and Larry. Toby tried the discreet hug but CJ grabbed him by the lapels and covered his face and baldhead in kisses. He tried to fight her off, with little effort on either of their parts. When he finally got free, he wore the rare Toby grin. CJ pulled him close again, kissing his lips and hugging him.

"We did it Claudia Jean." He whispered.

"Together." She replied.

Donna came into the suite in the midst of the celebration; Josh was shouting something about the Doobie Brothers. The Governor and Mrs. Bartlet were also in the room now. Beer was going around and Larry had taken CJ into his arms. It was a comforting feeling because the pit of her stomach felt weird…something was wrong. She didn't see Leo anywhere and it was loud. Everything was pierced by Josh's groan and a bottle smashing on the hardwood floor.

***

"Tonight of all nights." CJ said.

She and Toby were in her hotel room after the speech. Jed Bartlet was the Democratic nominee for President of the United States and Josh Lyman's father was dead. A blood clot went to his heart during his last chemo session. Was the fact that it was quick and painless supposed to bring comfort to the Lyman family? CJ knew how much Josh had been through. One drunken night at Oxford they had a heart to heart about loss. CJ talked about her mother, who died of ovarian cancer before she could learn anything about being a woman. Josh told her about his sister Joanie, who died in a house fire. He'd run out of the house, a scared nine year old. He still could not shake that his sister would never grow to be a woman because of him. He was the one who whined about the Jiffy Pop…insisted on having it before they watched television.

"Josh is going to be alright." Toby said.

"He would not even let me hug him." CJ said. She bit back tears and lit a cigarette. "God Toby, he looked so deflated. Contrary to his sunny and goofy demeanor Josh had been through a lot."

"Yeah. Andi told me to tell you congratulations."

 _Did she really_ , CJ thought. _This I seriously doubt_.

"So you did talk to her?"

"Yeah. Both before and after the speech. They have a vote tomorrow."

"Federal college loans?" CJ asked.

Toby shook his head.

"Monetary relief for the earthquake in Armenia. Funny how Congress responds quickly to some things and not at all to others."

"Yes, funny. This is why Andi and I cannot talk politics anymore."

It was not the only reason but that was not up for discussion tonight. Toby, Andi, and CJ and the problems stemming from that had epic written all over it. CJ was OK with that, as long as Sigourney Weaver or Joan Allen played her in the movie. Would Joan Allen dye her hair red? Was she tall enough?

"There will be no breaks after this." Toby said. "November is in the blink of an eye."

"We had breaks before this?" CJ did her nearly famous self-deprecating laugh. Leo always followed up that laugh with a passionate kiss. "I have the Governor doing the morning shows Thursday, Charlie Rose taped that afternoon for airing in a week, radio Friday, and Sam and Cokie on Sunday."

"We definitely need an advance for the questions on This Week." Toby replied. "I don't want any surprises."

"You and me both Pokey. I will give John Sutherland a call."

"I thought you hated John."

CJ smiled; sipping her beer.

"I do. He doesn't know that though; thinks he is God's gift. I can stroke him for what I want."

"Well that can be misconstrued."

"I didn't study public relations for nothing." CJ said.

She and Toby clinked beer bottles before he stood.

"I'm going to sleep." He said.

"No you're not…you're going to work on the San Francisco speech."

The Bartlets would spend three days relaxing at their Manchester farm while the staff planned Phase Two of the strategy: The Republicans.

"Well, I am going to think about sleep." Toby countered.

"Good plan Tobus."

He said goodnight and went to the door. He opened it, surprised too see Leo on the other side about to knock. It was almost two a.m., this visit was not about Scrabble or Go Fish.

"Hey Leo."

"Hi Toby. The speech was fantastic tonight."

"Unfortunately, Sam gets most of the credit. I pushed him in the ocean…the kid can swim."

"Yeah. I'm figuring she is in."

"Yeah. Goodnight."

Leo walked in and closed the door. He stood by the door so long that CJ wanted to get up and see if he was still there. Of course, she would have to be able to move to do that. She smelled him though, smelled Drakkar Noir. Finally CJ found her voice.

"Leo? Did you need something?"

He cleared his throat and walked into the bedroom. They just stared at each other for a bit, and then he asked if he could sit. CJ nodded, pointing at the chair. Leo sat down and took a deep breath.

"Long night." He said.

"Yeah. Josh got off OK, right?"

"Mmm hmm."

"I'm sorry Leo, I know that you and Noah were good friends."

"I am not going to be able to attend the service but once the Governor and Mrs. Bartlet are settled I will sit Shiva for an afternoon. He was definitely one of the good guys; and he loved his son."

"Did you talk to Mallory tonight?" CJ asked.

"Yeah. She was glad to hear from me, she always is, but political conversation always bored her. Yeah."

"So, what do you need?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What do you need Leo? It is almost 2 am, you certainly did not come here for the pleasantries."

"Here? No…pleasantries are not on our list of ways to treat each other these days."

CJ drew her knees to her chest as she lit another cigarette. Leo thought she smoked too much lately. They were all chomping at the bit. While the Bartlets and Josh recovered, Leo would declare that the staff rest too. They were coming up on the biggest challenge of their lives and if they went all the way rest would be a precious commodity that none of them could afford.

"I'm here because I need to hold you." He said. "Even if it's for the last time, I need to hold you in triumph tonight. I need to wake up tomorrow with you in my arms."

"It'll be an illusion." CJ replied.

"Everything is an illusion."

CJ was silent, studying her kneecaps under a pair of blue jeans. Her hair, still in that California chic perm, was pulled back in a ponytail. The make-up was all gone and she wore her glasses. This was the way Leo liked her best…stripped bare. No shoes, toes wiggling with a fruit colored nail polish. This was Claudia Jean.

"I love you." He said.

"What is your favorite song?" she asked.

"I Have a Crush On You."

"Frank Sinatra." She whispered.

"Yeah. It's a good song."

More silence. CJ finished her beer and threw the bottle in the trash.

"I need to go to bed Leo."

"I need to go to bed with you."

"What you need to do is stop deluding yourself and do the best you can so we can work together like adults."

"You don't love me anymore?" his voice cracked and Leo turned his face away from her.

"Are you crying?" CJ jumped off the bed. "Oh my God, are you crying? Leo?" she crouched in front of him, putting her hands on his knees. "Look at me."

"No."

"Leo, don't be a baby. C'mon, look at me."

"Stop it CJ." He flung his hand in her direction to push her away.

"Damn you, you stubborn old coot." She grabbed his face and turned it back to her.

Tears glistened in his eyes but did not fall. CJ stroked his cheek.

"Leo, it is not that I don't love you anymore. It's just…damn I cannot have this conversation right now. Tonight is not the night for this conversation…you can't keep doing this."

"I understand." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'll leave you to your sleep."

Leo stood and straightened his pants.

"Don't go OK, please." She said.

"I certainly don't need your pity."

CJ sighed, throwing her hands in the air. He always did this; she always did this.

"Then fucking leave Leo, go. Run!" another sigh. "I don't pity you; I actually want to hit you in the back of the head with a heavy object."

Leo didn't move.

"I am so tired of fighting with you." He said. "If we love each other why can't we work through this? I don't know if that makes any sense but, God CJ, you are back in my life and I don't want to lose you again. I want to know you and be a part of your life…I want you to be a part of my life. Are we not allowed to have disagreements?"

"How do you know this after 12 years? A whole lifetime has transpired. We could just be friends and not dig too deep into things. It is going to hurt; I'm sure we've both done things we're not proud of."

"I don't give a damn. I don't want to be friends…I want all of you." Leo replied.

"You're asking too much. You can't demand things because you want them. It may have been that way your whole life but it is not going to be that way with me. Just come to bed Leo."

He smiled, taking off his shoes. CJ watched him undress slowly. Once he was down to his blue boxers she called him to the bed with her finger. He bent down and softly kissed her lips.

"Are you going to hate me in the morning?" Leo asked.

"See, I hate you right now."

"I really have no idea when you are joking. Claudia Jean, you are wearing too many clothes."

She pulled the covers down and went into the bathroom. Leo lay in the bed wondering what would happen if they truly let it all go and let their feelings control the situation. She fought him, didn't want to give over any of the control. She had built a wall around herself that was nearly impassable. Leo had been through the depths of hell and back; the time for delusion was over. It was time for him, at some would describe as the end of this life, to grab it by the horns.

"Where did you go?" CJ asked.

He looked up and gasped. She was dressed in a transparent red nightgown.

"Oh no baby, I am right here. Believe me."

CJ got into bed, plunging them into darkness. She lay on her side, spooning her body to Leo's and exhaling.

"God, you smell so good." He murmured. "You smell intoxicating."

"Stop it Leo. If you do not behave yourself, I am kicking you and then kicking you out. I mean it, this is just about getting some sleep."

Did she really believe that?

"Oh really? What are you going to do if I…"

Leo tickled her and CJ shouted. The room was dark and it was hard to fight him off.

"Oh God Leo! I'm going to kill you, you evil bastard."

Leo pulled her into a blistering kiss. CJ snaked her arms around him, nipping at his bottom lip with her teeth. Leo moaned into her mouth.

"Oh God."

"No." she pushed him away. "There will be no 'oh God' in this room tonight. We are going to sleep Leo…I mean it. Seriously, go to sleep."

"OK baby." He kissed behind her ear as they spooned again. "OK." He took a deep breath. "I need to apologize for what happened in your room that night CJ. My God, I should never have grabbed you that way, and I will never do that again. I was…the situation got crazy and we were both angry. I will never do that again; you never have to be afraid of me."

"I am not afraid of you. Get some rest Leo, your apology is accepted. Accept mine for resorting to violence."

The room got quiet again and soon CJ was just listening to Leo breathe. His heartbeat on her shoulder blade was more solace than she'd had in weeks. She moved her hand over his, resting comfortably on her stomach, and slid her fingers between his.

"Claudia Jean." He hummed her name in his sleep as he pulled her closer to him and put his leg over hers.

"I love you too Leo. God help us all."

***

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted 8/5/06.


End file.
